Convincing someone who slurps down Fox News like it’s their daily multivitamin of bullshit is no small feat. It’s like trying to pry a security blanket out of a toddler’s death grip—except the toddler can vote and thinks Tucker Carlson is a prophet. But, if you’re feeling brave (or masochistic), here are some strategies to crack that thick, partisan skull:
1. Ask Questions—Don’t Be a Condescending Asshole
Screaming “YOU’RE BEING LIED TO, YOU IGNORANT TOOL!” may feel good, but it’s not gonna work. Instead, try the Jedi mind trick of asking loaded but calm questions like:
- “Do you think any media outlet—yes, even your beloved Fox—might have its own agenda?”
- “Remember when Fox had to backpedal like hell in court over the Dominion lies? What do you make of that?”
This way, you plant seeds of doubt without punching their ego in the dick.
2. Use Their Own Trash Fire Against Them
Fox has, on more than one occasion, pulled a full-on “Oopsie” in court, admitting they knowingly aired steaming piles of misinformation. Bring that up. Better yet, hit them with receipts from other conservative sources—like The Wall Street Journal or National Review—that occasionally call out Fox’s bullshit. If they won’t listen to you, maybe they’ll listen to people wearing the same ideological jersey.
3. Call Out the Convenient Amnesia
Fox has a habit of screaming nonsense until it’s no longer convenient—then pretending it never happened (hello, voter fraud lies). Ask pointedly:
- “Hey, remember when Fox wouldn’t shut up about [insert latest debunked conspiracy]? Why did they drop it like a hot turd once it got disproven?”
Force them to reckon with that sudden silence.
4. Show the Split Screen of Reality
Encourage them to watch the same damn story across different outlets. Let them see the cognitive dissonance slap them in the face. Use sites like AllSides or Ad Fontes Media to show how different networks twist the same facts into ideological balloon animals.
5. Preach the Gospel of Media Literacy
Instead of turning it into a “Fox News is trash” sermon (even though, let’s be real, it is), focus on the broader idea of questioning all sources. Push them to look at primary sources. Hell, even just reading beyond the damn headlines would be a start.
6. Patience, Grasshopper. And Booze. Lots of Booze.
Changing someone’s worldview is like turning a cruise ship with a QAnon captain—it’s slow, painful, and sometimes you just want to jump overboard. Keep the door open, keep dropping facts like breadcrumbs, and with time, they might start to notice the mountain of bullshit they’re standing on.
Let me know if you want this to go even harder or need it tailored for a specific audience (e.g., snarky liberal, exhausted centrist, angry teenager, etc.).